Chem Day 3: “Now, might be the time to pray”

31 Jul 2025 Leave a comment

by lanikamal in Jadan's Cancer Journey Tags: , , ,

“Now, might be the time to pray,” according to our pharmacist. We had a lively and insightful visit from our pharmacist this morning. We understand from his advice that it’s time to pray for healing. Day 3-4 is when symptoms may become more severe. Fortunately, since Jadan’s steroid dosage was lowered, he has been doing very well. No shakiness or chills. And he has been doing very well with meals. Today, the doctor added a new anti-nausea medication to help offset the lowering of the steroid. Jadan has responded very well to that also.

One surprising bit of information we learned this week was related to Jadan’s cancer stage level. Jadan was asked to sign a paper acknowledging the medications they were administering – that is where he saw he was at stage 3b, with the highest stage set at 3c. I am grateful for the life-saving science and attentive care Jadan is receiving.

At home, the Subi and Po have been paying closer attention to Jadan than normal. We think they know something is going on. Subi couldn’t understand why she didn’t get out of the car with us this morning. And then this afternoon, Po gave him a funny look. Perhaps he was wondering where Jadan was all day. Now that Jadan is home, everyone seems to be happier.

One thing I appreciated during today’s treatment was how hard each nurse works to care for their patients. It is obvious that they care deeply for each person they serve. One of the pros of chemo treatment is making new friendships with those serving in the healthcare field. The nature of chemo calls for many visits, which provide endless opportunities to get to know the staff. It feels like we are in a different world where the societal ills that typically take precedence in everyday life may become a point of conflict and anxiety, and are not the center of the universe. Rather, what is truly important is the sincere care, attention, support, and encouragement given to each person as they strive with heart and soul to live a life full of health and wellbeing.

During today’s treatment, Jadan decided that tonight would be the night for a dynamic change. One of the side effects of chemotherapy is hair loss within the first week of treatment. It was inspiring to see Jadan embrace the beauty in being bald. And WOW, he rocked the “Bald is Beautiful!” Didn’t he?

Ta-Dah!!! Game on Cancer! He is already looking forward to a scalp massage.

Chemo Day 3 Art:

Today’s art is about gratitude for being present in the moment and being the change by imbuing thoughts and actions with love. Tangles, such as Bales, Flux, Fescu, and Orbs, embellished the word ‘BE’. You are invited to create your “BE” art inspired by gratitude.

Thy name is my healing, O my God, and remembrance of Thee is my remedy. Nearness to Thee is my hope, and love for Thee is my companion. Thy mercy to me is my healing and my succor in both this world and the world to come. Thou, verily, art the All-Bountiful, the All-Knowing, the All-Wise.

Prayers and Meditations by Bahá’u’lláh     

Chemo Day 2: May your day be as wonderful as you are!

30 Jul 2025 Leave a comment

by lanikamal in Jadan's Cancer Journey Tags: , , , , ,

One of our most significant take-aways from chemotherapy so far – Jadan and the steroid medication do not go well together. He has experienced dizziness from the moment he was given it on day 1. His first night’s sleep went okay until 2:40 am. After some time managing, now feeling well, he was able to return to bed only to wake up early for chemo day 2.

This morning was rough – chills, shakiness, and not feeling well.

Our job is to ensure that Jadan does not experience an allergic reaction to the meds. I checked his temperature—it was normal. We were good to head to treatment.

Jadan’s new best friend, Amanda, had a brand new friendship bracelet ready for Jadan during our check-in. Today’s message was spot on. Even though this morning was difficult, the day had significantly improved.

Once settled into his chair, Jadan told his nurse, pharmacist, and doctor how he felt. It was determined that he was not doing well with his steroid dosage, so the dexamethasone (steroid) was moved from 12 mg to 4 mg. I am happy to report that he didn’t experience any more dizziness. Even better, he enjoyed oatmeal and later had a pesto grilled chicken sandwich handcrafted by Kevin (dad).

Between breakfast and lunch, we had time to play Super Mario Bros on the Switch. The screen was so small that every avatar – good or bad – looked like cute little puppies to me. Thanks to Jadan’s patience and guidance, we could free the poplins (citizens of the flower kingdom) imprisoned by the monster Bowser.

During Jadan’s nap, I found a beautiful metal flower that inspired some art. I used the crescent moon tangle in the shape of a flower. The versatility of the crescent moon is endless. The crescent moon tangle is one of the fundamental tangles to learn. It introduces a technique where you mirror or ‘aura’ the shape of the shaded black ‘bump’. Another method used was shading. This gives contrast to lines, creating the illusion of depth.

To create mindful art through the Zentangle Method, please visit Zen with Zeal: Cultivating mindfulness, healing, and well-being. Tutorial videos are linked, and tangle step-outs are shown in the slide PDF for each tangle used in art created throughout Jadan’s Chemo Journey.

Chemo Day 2 art is grounded in gratitude for the power of love.

“Know thou of a certainty that Love is the secret of God’s holy Dispensation, the manifestation of the All-Merciful, the fountain of spiritual outpourings. Love is heaven’s kindly light, the Holy Spirit’s eternal breath that vivifieth the human soul. Love is the cause of God’s revelation unto man, the vital bond inherent, in accordance with the divine creation, in the realities of things. Love is the one means that ensureth true felicity both in this world and the next. Love is the light that guideth in darkness, the living link that uniteth God with man, that assureth the progress of every illumined soul. Love is the most great law that ruleth this mighty and heavenly cycle, the unique power that bindeth together the divers elements of this material world, the supreme magnetic force that directeth the movements of the spheres in the celestial realms. Love revealeth with unfailing and limitless power the mysteries latent in the universe. Love is the spirit of life unto the adorned body of mankind, the establisher of true civilization in this mortal world, and the shedder of imperishable glory upon every high-aiming race and nation.“

‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Selections from the Writings of ‘Abdu’l-Bahá, p. 2

Chemo Day 1: You are stronger than you realize!

29 Jul 2025 Leave a comment

by lanikamal in Jadan's Cancer Journey Tags: ,

The first day of chemo was a success! Besides having a contagiously positive attitude, Jadan was an inspiring example of courage and humor. He was welcomed by the front desk receptionist with an empowering message:

Difficult times in life allow us to exercise our strength. They are also an opportunity to further strengthen capabilities that enhance our commitment to personal growth and, at the same time, help us connect to others with love and kindness. Sharing words that empower others, especially in times of difficulty, not only gives encouragement and support but also acknowledges the person’s unique experience and great capacity to overcome the hardship. Halfway through treatment, Jadan acknowledged his strength and made a fond reference to his personalized wristband.

The first day of chemo began with cleaning the port area, giving saline for hydration, a steroid, and two anti-nausea medications. Then, an hour of etoposide was followed by an hour and a half of cisplatin. Overall, we were in therapy from 8 am until 1:15 pm.

Jadan’s nurse, Danuta, was exceptionally kind and attentive. She brought snacks and a drink to help with light dizziness and often checked in on Jadan during his infusion.

Art was created, inspired by deep gratitude and appreciation for science and the arts, which is expressed through the following Baháʼí prayer:

O God, O Thou Who hast cast Thy splendor over the luminous realities of men, shedding upon them the resplendent lights of knowledge and guidance, and hast chosen them out of all created things for this supernal grace, and hast caused them to encompass all things, to understand their inmost essence, and to disclose their mysteries, bringing them forth out of darkness into the visible world!  “He verily showeth His special mercy to whomsoever He will.”¹

O Lord, help Thou Thy loved ones to acquire knowledge and the sciences and arts, and to unravel the secrets that are treasured up in the inmost reality of all created beings.  Make them to hear the hidden truths that are written and embedded in the heart of all that is.  Make them to be ensigns of guidance amongst all creatures, and piercing rays of the mind shedding forth their light in this, the “first life.”²  Make them to be leaders unto Thee, guides unto Thy path, runners urging men on to Thy Kingdom.

Thou verily art the Powerful, the Protector, the Potent, the Defender, the Mighty, the Most Generous.

‘Abdu’l-Bahá 

The Zentangle Method of mindful art making is founded in gratitude and appreciation. It is easy to learn, relaxing, and fun way to create beautiful images by drawing structured patterns. It provides artistic satisfaction along with an increased sense of personal well-being.

During chemotherapy days, I will create art through the Zentangle Method. I will also share an introduction to this mindful art form and invite all to create their own art founded in gratitude and appreciation.

For those wanting to learn the mindful Zentangle Method, you will need: one pencil, paper of your choice, and a black Micron pen 01 or 05. If you do not have a Micron pen, any kind of pen you have will suffice. On chemo day 2, we will learn the 8 steps of the Zentangle Method and one or two of the fundamental tangles: crescent moon and printemps.

Until tomorrow…may you immerse yourselves in the beauty that surrounds you.

Unraveling the mysteries of the mind and spirit…

28 Jul 2025 Leave a comment

by lanikamal in Jadan's Cancer Journey Tags: , , ,

“Imagination will often carry us to worlds that never were, but without it we go nowhere.”
 Carl Sagan

Galactic nucleus image from VLA.
Jadan enjoying a VLA poster gifted to him from Montana.

Sunday was dedicated to stimulating Jadan’s intellectual powers by inspiring his imagination and creativity during our visit to the Karl G. Jansky Very Large Array in Magdalena, New Mexico. Thanks to a brilliant and engaging tour led by Montana, a doctoral student studying Physics at New Mexico Tech, we had the opportunity to learn in depth the history of the beginning of radio astronomy and the past, present, and future of how this field has evolved, resulting in world-changing discoveries. For example, the radio telescopes detect the cosmic microwave background (CMB) – the direct evidence of the Big Bang – allowing us to peer into the heart of our galaxy, revealing the furious engine within. Especially fascinating was the time we spent walking outside and visiting several interactive displays, as well as the eclectic mix of technology, professions, expertise, and infrastructure that contributes to the success of the VLA.

The white circle demonstrated the size of the dish: 25 meters and 10 stories tall.

At the VLA Sundial Memorial, we were delighted to find a familiar name etched on one of the Gnomon pedestals (non-traditional bases for the massive radio telescopes): Kerr. As we can tell, this was Frank John Kerr, an Australian physicist and astronomer who contributed to our knowledge of the Milky Way.

As wind moves through the taught wires, sounds emanate.

Jadan became intrigued by a sound sculpture entitled Music of the Spheres. The term comes from Pythagoras’s ancient belief that the universe and all its objects are guided by musical and mathematical principles. In fact, Jadan wrote a short story called Music of the Spheres a few years ago, which was also inspired by Pythagoras’ sentiment.

According to the Baha’i Writings,

“God’s greatest gift to man is that of intellect, or understanding. The understanding is the power by which man acquires his knowledge of the several kingdoms of creation, and of various stages of existence, as well as of much which is invisible.​” ‘Abdu’l-Baha, Paris Talks

Abdu’l-Baha further encourages us to use our gift of intellect to contribute to “the advancement of civilization, for the good of humanity, to increase love and concord and peace,” and “to study the sciences, acquire more and more knowledge”.

Studying the universe teaches us more about ourselves. Human beings usher in the light of knowledge through imagination and creative approaches founded on courage. The VLA serves as a beautiful example of how humans are inspired and attracted to the beauty of the stars and heavens and are committed to quenching a deep thirst for knowledge, which helps give us meaning and purpose as a world civilization.

“Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.”
Carl Sagan

Grieve Not…

27 Jul 2025 Leave a comment

by lanikamal in Jadan's Cancer Journey Tags: , , ,

One of my favorite quotes from ʻAbdu’l-Bahá inspired the music “Be the Wind,” created by one of the youth and musician extraordinaire, Eric Harper, during our 2022 Transformative Leadership for Youth seminar. 

“O ye beloved of God! When the winds blow severely, rains fall fiercely, the lightning flashes, the thunder roars, the bolt descends and storms of trial become severe, grieve not; for after this storm, verily, the divine spring will arrive, the hills and fields will become verdant, the expanses of grain will joyfully wave, the earth will become covered with blossoms, the trees will be clothed with green garments and adorned with blossoms and fruits.” Bahá’í World Faith

We are preparing for the storm. The theme of this quote gives meaning and purpose to the storm and all that it brings. As wayfarers of the storm, we are encouraged to see the blessing found within the grief. During Laurie’s journey, I studied the five stages of grief from Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. An example of this has been one of the most stunning and profound insights from On Grief & Grieving, that it is within the stage of denial, where disbelief and shock are experienced, that one can discover grace. Denial protects us from the unimaginable. It is through the grace within denial that one comes to terms with reality and the ability to survive what initially feels impossible to endure (Kübler-Ross and Kessler, p. 10). Jadan begins his first week of chemotherapy on Monday. We have been told that chemo will be harsh and will have a multitude of ill side effects. It is our conviction to not only see the blessings within the storm but to be the blessings on this journey.  

One of Albuquerque’s most beautiful qualities is its art community. A wide variety of art and artists provide local inspiration and beauty.

One of the recent spaces Jadan and Van found is GuitarVista. They buy/sell/trade various instruments to the community, including acoustic and electric guitars and mandolins. There, Jadan found a beautiful electric guitar that will feed his soul during the next few months. He has been playing it daily in preparation for next week.

There is one constant that will never change – that is change itself. Bella and Van have made their way to Colorado to visit family and friends in preparation for the new school year. Bella returns to her final year at Lewis & Clark College in Portland, Oregon, while Vanny returns to Albuquerque to attend the University of New Mexico. As hard as it was, the girls said goodbye while all three gave Subi a squishy hug.

Juvenile – female

I have been preparing for the storm by photographing local hummingbirds. Our home has been surrounded with hummingbird feeders, which happily attract several species of hummingbirds. Becoming familiar with the Black-Chinned Hummingbird has been exciting, as it is new to me.

Juvenile – male

It has been especially inspiring to get to know the local juveniles. They seem more comfortable being stared at and photographed, even coming to my window when I am not outside with them. They also seem to know who fills their feeders. If I am a day or two late with fresh food, they seem to have quite a bit to say about it.

We miss Laurie every day.

Laurie spinning Jadan (age 5) at White Sands National Park, NM in 2010.

A few days ago, we visited her grave, added orange flowers (her favorite color,) and said a prayer. A friend recently reminded me of how the souls in the next world continue to interact and assist us in this world through prayer and bounties. The thought of Laurie’s soul assisting and bestowing bounties upon Jadan during his cancer journey fills my heart with grace and gratitude. Jadan was very attached to Laurie in his younger years and loved her deeply as he grew older. I have no doubt that the power of love binds their souls together to this day.

“In the world of existence there is indeed no greater power than the power of love.“

ʻAbdu’l-Bahá

Play’n through the Port Pain, Chemo Education & The Cancer Chair

22 Jul 2025 Leave a comment

by lanikamal in Jadan's Cancer Journey Tags: , ,

As stated in the writings of the Baha’i Faith, ” It is…music which assists us to afffect the human spirit” and “helps us to communicate with the soul,” where “music, sung or played, is spiritual food for soul and heart” and serves as a “ladder for the soul,” especially in times of difficulty and pain (Baha’i Quotes). Friday’s port placement went well, as expected. It was Saturday morning that Jadan woke up to pain. The pain wasn’t a surprise, and after a couple of Tylenol, it was bearable. Enough so that Jadan turned to his guitar to play through the pain. Listening to his jam inspired a feeling of relief. It was our ‘normal’ Jadan doing his ‘normal’ thing…even though we knew he was hurting. He continued to feed his soul all weekend. As for the rest of us, we have been preparing for the storm.

How does one prepare for 3 months of chemo? How does one prepare for the unknown? This last question has been one I’ve asked myself over 100 times this last year. In that sense, finding ourselves facing cancer feels familiar. One thing I know is that life goes on. As we prepare ourselves by learning how to care for Jadan during his chemo treatments and the potential side effects, we are focusing on surrounding Jadan with all that strengthens him emotionally, physically, psychologically, and spiritually.

The port needle that will administer the chemo medication.
Image of the type of port Jadan has.

Today was our first Chemo Education session with Jadan’s nurse. We appreciated the opportunity to learn how the port works during treatments, ask questions, and see the location where Jadan will be during next week’s first round. Jadan will have to decide if he wants the port needle to stay in during the week or be inserted into the port each day. Fortunately, he will have some numbing cream to apply before the port needle is used. Jadan’s nurse was patient, informative, and highly supportive. We were grateful for her time and guidance. As mom, I was relieved to have questions answered and to see Jadan feel heard and appreciated.

One more thing on my list was finding Jadan a comfortable chair where he could recover from chemo treatments. Uncle Chuck shared that his chair was his best friend when he was going through his treatments. I’m happy to share that today was the day. We found a cool retro chair that reclines and swivels, allowing him to play his guitar in comfort. The chair is also great for listening to classic vinyl, such as Close Encounters soundtrack and Jerry Garcia’s Garcia. Seeing Jadan feed his soul with his new best friend instills hope and joy.

Thank you for checking in on what’s happening on Jadan’s Cancer Journey. I’ll be posting more soon! We are grateful for your love, prayers, and support!

Resting at home

18 Jul 2025 Leave a comment

by lanikamal in Jadan's Cancer Journey

All is well after this morning’s port placement procedure. Once discharged from the hospital, we stopped for lunch. Jadan needed to fast for the procedure. He was hungry!

We had a chance to review the port details, which are quite fascinating.

I didn’t realize that the port was directly inserted into the heart. In addition to chemotherapy, the port will be used for medication and blood draws. We assume he will have this in for 4-5 months. One of our family members went through a similar cancer treatment. His port was removed after several tests that showed he was in remission. We think they will do the same thing with Jadan.

If you didn’t know, Jadan is a fan of the Grateful Dead. All his nurses so far are, too. Each time he has gone into surgery, they play Grateful Dead songs. When his tumor was removed, they played Athea and today it was Jerry Garcia’s Midnight Moonlight – Live. Perhaps take some time to enjoy either or both. It is great to see so many healthcare staff going out of their way to help Jadan during this difficult time. Once again, I am filled with gratitude for each of them.

On our way home, we saw a circumhorizontal arc in the sky. It reminded us of how the sun’s light illuminates our world with beauty. We are grateful for and celebrate this beauty in all our thoughts and actions.

Port is in!

18 Jul 2025 Leave a comment

by lanikamal in Jadan's Cancer Journey

The port placement procedure was super fast and went well! Next steps – food!

And we begin….

18 Jul 2025 Leave a comment

by lanikamal in Jadan's Cancer Journey

Today is port day. It is the day Jadan has an outpatient procedure where doctors surgically give him a quarter-size port in his chest. This access point will be used for chemo treatments starting July 28th.

Arriving at Lovelace Medical just before 9 am.

Once we made it to check in, Jadan and Kevin were intrigued by a collimator for an old Gamma Knife machine displayed in the lobby. This type of technology was considered a breakthrough of hope at Lovelace.

Today’s procedure will take about 2 hours in total. Only 15 minutes will be spent inserting the port, and the rest will be dedicated to numbing the area and ensuring Jadan is comfortable. After the procedure, Jadan is evaluated and given time to come out of the sedation.

It was great meeting Jadan’s nurse and learning about each step of his port placement procedure. We are grateful and appreciate the great care Jadan is receiving.

Soul Gardening with Gratitude & Appreciation

13 Jul 2025 2 Comments

by lanikamal in Jadan's Cancer Journey

Jadan before his first surgery on June 17th, 2025.

Grief is like a river. Sometimes, the water has been turbulent, powerful, and fast-moving, while other times, it has been slow, gentle, and soothing as it ebbs and flows, always evolving. On June 5th, four months to the day our precious family member passed away, we learned that our son Jadan had cancer. We were still immersed in the river of grief and missing our family member as the news of cancer once again turned our world upside down. Fortunately, this time, we were told that our son’s cancer is curable. After a long two weeks, pathology results showed a mixed tumor type, with 80% known to respond exceptionally well to chemo, while the remaining 20% didn’t.  The treatment approach for that tumor type would be another surgery. We also learned there has been cancer growth, but we do not know which type has spread. According to our recent oncology visit, Jadan is at stage 3.

Our journey begins...

This blog marks the start of a journey of love, faith, and healing as we accompany and support him during chemotherapy treatments and complete recovery. It is our vision to build a strong network of support to empower and encourage Jadan as he makes a full recovery and to provide family and friends the opportunity to join us on this journey. I’ll post regular updates with highlights and photos over the next several months.

Please keep Jadan and his care team in your prayers for protection and healing. During his 12 weeks of treatment, an art-inspired prayer campaign that connects our hearts with love and prayer will be shared. Jadan loves art, especially music. All are welcome to send inspired art, such as chanting and/or singing prayers, playing music, poetry, reciting favorite quotes, etc.

Jadan is strong, courageous, resilient, and determined to recover fully and live life to the fullest. Your love and support are a gift and a source of strength, especially during the next few months as we isolate to keep Jadan cold and COVID-free.

The New Mexico sky brings beauty and inspiration to our souls…

“Blessed is he who in the prime of his youth and the heyday of his life will arise to serve the Cause of the Lord of the beginning and of the end, and adorn his heart with His love.”

Bahá’u’lláh