Day 3 of Last Week: Wednesday, October 1, 2025: “Surrounded by Beauty”

02 Oct 2025 Leave a comment

by lanikamal in Jadan's Cancer Journey Tags: , , , , , ,

Fall in Albuquerque is stunning. The previous owners of our home planted a large portion of the yard with Maximilian Sunflowers, which have exploded with beauty. I’ve been going outside every day after returning from Jadan’s treatment. I am captivated by the vibrant colors, their movement in the breeze, and all the life that can be found on the flowers. Immersing myself in beauty helps me navigate the feelings and emotions of Jadan’s cancer journey, as well as help me grieve the loss of Laurie. Seeing flowers bloom and the shimmering sunlight between the flowers and leaves in the trees inspires hope and purpose.

Day 3 started better than the first two days of Jadan’s treatment week. We were a little slow getting ready due to fatigue, but his nausea felt more under control. Jadan has been doing a great job taking his anti-nausea meds before treatment. This seems helpful, along with additional approaches to help with the side effects of the chemo meds.

FUN FACT: On a side note, the kids saw the new Superman movie a few months ago. I heard them talking on and off about it, but didn’t pay too much attention. It wasn’t until I saw it that I realized what they were saying. Evidently, Jadan could be the doppleganger for the Lex Luther character. All Jadan needs is a black coat, and he is all set for Halloween.

We are looking forward to being able to see family more often once treatment is over. It will also be exciting to have family and friends visit.

Wrapping up day 3 was a little rough due to nausea. The highlight was when Subi welcomed Jadan with puppy kisses. She loves going on car rides, especially when they involve picking up the kids.

Jadan has successfully completed day 3 of his last week of chemo. We are getting very excited to complete this treatment and move forward in life.

Day 3 Art is inspired by beauty:

“How wondrous is the unity of the Living, the Ever-Abiding God — a unity which is exalted above all limitations, that transcendeth the comprehension of all created things! He hath, from everlasting, dwelt in His inaccessible habitation of holiness and glory, and will unto everlasting continue to be enthroned upon the heights of His independent sovereignty and grandeur. How lofty hath been His incorruptible Essence, how completely independent of the knowledge of all created things, and how immensely exalted will it remain above the praise of all the inhabitants of the heavens and the earth!

From the exalted source, and out of the essence of His favor and bounty He hath entrusted every created thing with a sign of His knowledge, so that none of His creatures may be deprived of its share in expressing, each according to its capacity and rank, this knowledge. This sign is the mirror of His beauty in the world of creation.“

Baha’u’llah, Gleanings from the Writings of Baha’u’llah, p. 261.

Day 1 of last week: Monday, September 29, 2025: Reflections from the Pale Blue Dot

30 Sep 2025 Leave a comment

by lanikamal in Jadan's Cancer Journey Tags: , , ,

We have been preparing ourselves for this week for days. Going into Jadan’s last week of chemo is filled with many emotions. Gratitude for all the love and support that has been a constant reminder of not being alone, and grieving the loss of life as it was before. Also, feelings of excitement, hope, optimism, and curiosity as to what the future will hold. We have talked about future plans all through chemotherapy, and are finally getting close to making those plans a reality. We have three exciting events happening in May: Anya graduates from 5th grade, Kyler graduates from high school, and Bella graduates from Lewis & Clark.

One undeniable truth connecting every human being is that we will all face death in our own time. Over the last year, experiencing time has been redefined. It used to be that time revolved around a clock—time to wake up, eat, work, etc., and it often felt like time wasn’t enough, as if it was a commodity or resource. Now, during chemotherapy, our time is filled with taking actions that will cure Jadan’s cancer. We are surrounded by precious souls who may or may not have the favorable prognosis we gratefully have. Some are given notice that their time is approaching, yet continue to live with grace, purpose, and peace. But the truth is, we all exist in time outside the clock, whether we realize it or not. It is what we do with the little time we have in this moment that matters. Reflecting on the human life span reminds me of Carl Sagan’s Pale Blue Dot cosmic perspective.

Jadan received his words of encouragement upon checking in. This small token of love and support is one of the first things we look forward to, along with being greeted with warm welcomes by Jadan’s care staff. Everyone was very excited to see Jadan, especially since this was his last week of treatment. So many have taken a liking to Jadan. They see their kids in him and have a special investment and interest in his healing.

Once treatment began, the nausea kicked in. Afterward, he could enjoy a little bit of a second breakfast. Good old McDonald’s breakfast burritos with hot picante did the trick. From that point, Jadan managed to rest through the rest of his treatment. Hearing the bell ring was one of the highlights of our first day back. One of the patients completed their treatment and marked the occasion by ringing the bell. Everyone clapped with excitement. Knowing that Jadan will be ringing the bell on Friday inspires anticipation and renewed commitment to finish this week strong.


Jadan had a warm welcome from Po and Subi. They surrounded Jadan and were happy to see him. It was nice to see a smile on his face after today’s rough first day. The rest of the afternoon was dedicated to rest and food.

Only 4 more days!!!

Today’s Art is inspired by gratitude for science:

O God, O Thou Who hast cast Thy splendor over the luminous realities of men, shedding upon them the resplendent lights of knowledge and guidance, and hast chosen them out of all created things for this supernal grace, and hast caused them to encompass all things, to understand their inmost essence, and to disclose their mysteries, bringing them forth out of darkness into the visible world!  “He verily showeth His special mercy to whomsoever He will.”¹

O Lord, help Thou Thy loved ones to acquire knowledge and the sciences and arts, and to unravel the secrets that are treasured up in the inmost reality of all created beings.  Make them to hear the hidden truths that are written and embedded in the heart of all that is.  Make them to be ensigns of guidance amongst all creatures, and piercing rays of the mind shedding forth their light in this, the “first life.”²  Make them to be leaders unto Thee, guides unto Thy path, runners urging men on to Thy Kingdom.

Thou verily art the Powerful, the Protector, the Potent, the Defender, the Mighty, the Most Generous.

‘Abdu’l-Bahá

Round 3: Day #5: Friday, September 12, 2025 – “Don’t let go of the burritos!”

21 Sep 2025 Leave a comment

by lanikamal in Jadan's Cancer Journey Tags: , , , , ,

The last day of chemotherapy for the third session went okay. Jadan still felt nauseous but managed to eat a couple of breakfast burritos from McDonald’s. And what would life be like without hot picante sauce?

When it comes to food, if he wants it, we get it. We are never sure if something will work, especially since feeling sick has been so difficult this week.

It was exciting to reach the last day of treatment for round three. Knowing that he has two weeks off to recover and only one more week left – 5 DAYS! – is a relief. He’s got this!!!

From the start of coming to treatment, we noticed the office decor. There are flying pigs everywhere. We finally asked Amanda at the front desk about the meaning behind “when pigs fly!” She said all the pig art has been there for years—it was there when she started working. She also said that the patients absolutely love it. When patients come in, they laugh and remind her never to change it. I guess the pig art will change “when pigs fly!”.

Prayer for the last day of chemo:

O God, my God!  Fill up for me the cup of detachment from all things, and in the assembly of Thy splendors and bestowals, rejoice me with the wine of loving Thee.  Free me from the assaults of passion and desire, break off from me the shackles of this nether world, draw me with rapture unto Thy supernal realm, and refresh me amongst the handmaids with the breathing of Thy holiness.

O Lord, brighten Thou my face with the lights of Thy bestowals, light Thou mine eyes with beholding the signs of Thine all-subduing might; delight my heart with the glory of Thy knowledge that encompasseth all things, gladden Thou my soul with Thy soul-reviving tidings of great joy, O Thou King of this world and the Kingdom above, O Thou Lord of dominion and might, that I may spread abroad Thy signs and tokens, and proclaim Thy Cause, and promote Thy teachings, and serve Thy Law and exalt Thy Word.

Thou art, verily, the Powerful, the Ever-Giving, the Able, the Omnipotent.

‘Abdu’l-Bahá

Round #3: Day 4: Thursday, September 11 – “In the fire…”

16 Sep 2025 Leave a comment

by lanikamal in Jadan's Cancer Journey Tags: , , , ,

Deciding to change out the port dressings after each treatment has helped. Jadan still has difficulty with the chemo smell, but it has lessened with the bandage removed daily. It is interesting how the smell can immediately trigger nausea. He can even taste the saline when his port is flushed at the beginning and end of the daily infusions. The powers of the human body is fantastic.

One of his nurses shared how some of her past patients associate nausea with seeing her. The association is powerful. I love how his nurses are always exploring ways to help him in any way they can. We are grateful for their constant creative approaches to solving these issues. I can’t imagine not having the care and support of his care team.

Jadan moved through Thursday with his nausea and a growing feeling of relief knowing that he is getting close to the end of his chemotherapy. After every session, I watch the nurses gather all the medication bags from the stand. It is a daily reminder that Jadan’s body is enduring not one side effect of the chemo, but many, including fatigue, nausea, hair loss, potential hearing damage/loss, and a compromised immune system, all at once. His strength is awe-inspiring.

The stress of Jadan suffering from nausea this week has taken its toll on all of us. A deep feeling of exhaustion has set in, and it’s been difficult to concentrate on school and life. The day ended with a brief outing to Green Jeans Food Hall, one of my favorite spots to get crispy veggie tacos with green chili and lime. It is also a time to sit outside and appreciate the beauty of Albuquerque and prepare for Friday’s last day of this week’s chemo treatment.

Prayer-inspired art for Day 4: The Fire Tablet by Bahá’u’lláh, revealed in 1871, in the prison-city of ‘Akká, Israel.

Chemo Round #3: Day 2 : “Happy B-DAY Vanny!”

11 Sep 2025 Leave a comment

by lanikamal in Jadan's Cancer Journey Tags: , , ,

How can it be???? Vanny is 19 years old!

Last Sunday, we celebrated early with a family dinner before the start of chemo week. On Tuesday, September 9th, Vanny opened a few gifts before school. She got a cute little Grub squishy, a character from the Holo Knight game. Also, Jadan got the knight from the game—together, they make delicious eye candy for Subi, who thinks anything stuffed is for her. We also plan to do a little birthday outing after chemo week. Between school and treatment, our schedule is not only back-to-back but exhausting.

Amanda warmly welcomed Jadan during check-in. Once again, he received an inspiring handwritten message: “When you have exhausted all possibilities…Remember this: YOU HAVEN’T!” These words couldn’t have been more appropriate. Feeling powerless to help has been the theme for this week. From Monday to Tuesday, Jadan lost two pounds as a result of being sick. He typically gains weight from fluids, and the steroid increases his appetite, but not this week. After speaking with Jadan’s nurse and in agreement with Jadan, we decided to try a CBD tincture to help with nausea. We’ve had a crash course in Cannabis education from a local business recommended by Jadan’s doctor. The CBD tincture does not include THC, the psychoactive chemical in marijuana that produces a high or addictive properties. Overall, with the increase in treatment side effects, we are hopeful and grateful that there is another option to help alleviate Jadan’s suffering.

Jadan is sporting his ABQ-inspired socks!

Additional ways in which Jadan is helped through pain through foot massages and healing touch holistic healing modalities offered by Jadan’s nurse. Another nurse suggested he try acupuncture as a way to help with the nausea. Implementing healing art modalities contributes to the mind-body-spirit integrative approach to managing the stress caused by cancer and the treatment. According to the care team, the treatment for Jadan’s cancer is effective, with a full recovery expected. Ensuring Jadan’s mental well-being and emotional well-being will allow for sound decision-making and empower him to fill his thoughts with positivity. As we strive to strengthen his spiritual well-being, “Supplication to God at morn and eve,” which Abdu’l-Bahá states, “is conducive to the joy of hearts, and prayer causes spirituality and fragrance” (Baha’iquotes.com).

Day 2 Art inspired by Beauty

The New Mexico sunset captivates and inspires beauty and awe.

“I beseech Thee, O my God, by Thy Beauty that shineth forth above the horizon of eternity, a Beauty before which, as soon as it revealeth itself, the kingdom of beauty boweth down in worship, magnifying it in ringing tones, to grant that I may die to all that I possess and live to whatsoever belongeth unto Thee. Thou seest me, O my God, holding to Thy Name, the Most Holy, the Most Luminous, the Most Mighty, the Most Great, the Most Exalted, the Most Glorious, and clinging to the hem of the robe to which have clung all in this world and in the world to come.” Prayers and Meditations by Bahá’u’lláh

Monday, September 8, 2025: Round 3: Day 1 -“Patience is a virtue”

10 Sep 2025 Leave a comment

by lanikamal in Jadan's Cancer Journey Tags: , , ,

Monday’s treatment began as usual. However, smells continue to negatively affect Jadan…more so during the beginning of treatment. His solution is to hold his breath as the nurse cleans, flushes, and accesses his port. The good news is…he is over halfway through his chemotherapy treatment. Also, Jadan’s doctor stopped by to share how pleased he was with Jadan’s progress and his recent lab results. Overall, he is doing very well.

I felt anxious over the weekend, as did Jadan. We know that from this point on, there is more nausea, fatigue, and overall challenge of feeling horrible. Words cannot fully express how difficult it is to watch a loved one suffer. I am deeply grateful to all who continue to share prayers and support Jadan. Knowing he is loved by so many helps manage feelings of being powerless to make him better.

Earlier this week, I learned that Eileen (Nana), Jadan’s Grandmother, was beginning her pilgrimage to Medjugorje, a sacred and blessed spot in Bosnia Herzegovina. Her first day was a big feast day in celebrating the Birthday of the Blessed Mohter. It was lovely to see photos and know that she is asking Our Lady to intercede with her Son for successful treatment and Jadan’s full recovery. Thank you, Nana! We are grateful for your prayers and love!

In 2023, our family went on Catholic Pilgrimage in Israel together. Father Leon took wonderful care of our group. One of the many highlights was visiting a Franscisan monastery build by Crusaders. It was there we found the most delicious honey collected and crafted by the monks themselves.

I was curious if our little soul gardener was still keeping watch – and happily, it was still there! Reflecting back on our first week of treatment feels like a very long time ago. It’s amazing how much change we’ve experienced in such short time. Again, another opportunity to be grateful for the support from family and friends. One of the postivites of returning to treatment was seeing the nursing staff. They continue to provide excellent care for Jadan. Another reason to be grateful.

Chemo ART DAY 1: Today’s art is dedicated to appreciation and gratitude for patience during times of tests and difficulty.

The sign of love is fortitude under My decree and patience under My trials.

Bahá’u’lláh

September 2, 2025: The power of love…

02 Sep 2025 1 Comment

by lanikamal in Jadan's Cancer Journey Tags: , , , , , ,

New Mexico sky where living in art is real.

We have begun the second week of taking a break from chemo treatment. Monday, September 8th, will be the first day of Jadan’s third round of chemotherapy. As Jadan progresses through treatment, he has experienced an increase in fatigue and nausea. Managing both can be challenging at times. He continues to immerse his soul in playing guitar and piano. I am instantly filled with gratitude when the house is filled with Jadan’s piano music, especially in the mornings.

Jadan has also been deep diving into his courses: Physics 3, Differential Equations, and piano. His instructors remain available outside regular class time to help accommodate Jadan’s immunocompromised health. When Jadan attends lectures with professors, he wears a mask. Kevin and Jadan often work on problems together at the dining table. I also benefit from Jadan’s learning by being taught formulas and equations that explain reality in space and time. Truly a gift!

Handcrafted bear in turquoise and silver. It symbolizes protection, courage and strength and serves as a spiritual guide.The bear’s qualities are reflected in the Heartline, which illustrates the life force and inner strength of a warrior’s heart.

In a time when so much is unknown about Jadan’s health and the future, one truth infuses us with strength of purpose—the power of love. Love has taken the form of prayers, emails, letters, thoughtful packages, cookies, time with family and visits from friends, bringing soft, cuddly reminders of friendship. Words fall short in expressing how grateful we all are for the continued love and support. The love expressed by family and friends reminds Jadan (all of us) that we are not alone. One of the side of effects of grief and experiencing any form of loss is feeling alone. Symbols, signs and tokens of love give us hope, courage and serve as reminders to persevere in times of tests and difficulties.

Cookies from a dear and precious family.
Anya appreciating beauty in nature.
Jordan and Evelyn bringing tokens of love.
August 30, 2024 – Celebrating last day of radiation treatment.

Being immersed in the power of love reminds me of Laurie and her steadfast courage during her 30 days of radiation treatment. One year ago from August 30th – last Saturday – we surprised her with the biggest balloon we could find. I remember hiding outside, waiting for her and Dave to come out. Several passerbys were hoping they were the recipients of the giant rose balloon and flowers. It is hard to believe so much as changed in such little time. It feels like we lived a lifetime in a year.

Art inspired by love, beauty and knowledge found in nature:

Say: Nature in its essence is the embodiment of My Name, the Maker, the Creator. Its manifestations are diversified by varying causes, and in this diversity there are signs for men of discernment. Nature is God’s Will and is its expression in and through the contingent world. It is a dispensation of Providence ordained by the Ordainer, the All-Wise.— Tablets of Bahá’u’lláh, Lawh-i-Hikmat

Monday, August 11th: “Just do normal”

12 Aug 2025 Leave a comment

by lanikamal in Jadan's Cancer Journey Tags: , , , , ,

Jadan is starting his first day of week three today. This is his second week without chemo. He will begin his second round on Monday, August 18th, the same day the Fall 2025 semester starts at the University of New Mexico. From the beginning of treatment, the care team’s advice has been, “just do normal,” meaning live as normally as possible. For Jadan, that means playing music, listening to classic vinyl, and eating his favorite margherita pizza from Amore Neopolitan Pizzeria. I am happy to share that Jadan has been able to engage in many of his normal activities. We are grateful he is feeling well.

Last week, he was navigating bone pain. This week, the pain has subsided, and he is feeling strong. Also, during our last visit to Dr. Purdy, we learned of the concern about possible hearing loss, a side effect from cisplatin, the medication that cures his cancer type. Cisplatin damages hair cells found in the cochlea, where sound vibrations are converted into electrical signals that the brain interprets (Acco.org).

We were able to get an appointment with the audiologist late Friday afternoon, and felt inspired by the sign on the check-in desk. According to the results, Jadan has not had any ill effects of hearing loss. This was great news! He now has a baseline to follow as he progresses in his chemotherapy treatments. The goal is to avoid hearing loss completely. We will follow up with Dr. Purdy this Thursday to get his take on the results and for another blood test. We want to avoid a week-long hospital stay as much as possible.

In celebration of the great news, you are invited to learn how to create your very own soul gardeners. The following video will include the materials needed and instructions for shaping the wire. Soul Gardeners celebrate the essential nobility in all human beings. They are perfect to bring joy to others. Enjoy!

Chemo Day 4: “Never trust your fears, they don’t know your strength”

01 Aug 2025 Leave a comment

by lanikamal in Jadan's Cancer Journey Tags: , , ,

It’s day 4 of chemo, and Subi was not going to let Jadan leave without her this morning. She had a lovely ride to the hospital, cuddling in Jadan’s lap. With only one more day to go, it will be a relief to complete the first of four weeks of chemo. Jadan is doing very well, considering how many different medications he is taking. We are still dialing in specifics on types of medication and dosages. I have deep respect for all those who are on his care team. I have learned that treating this cancer is difficult due to its nature and is unique to the individual. I appreciate how Jadan’s nurse constantly evaluates and analyzes his reaction to treatments to ensure he feels as well as possible.

We were looking forward to seeing Amanda at check-in. Jadan received his words of encouragement and support on his bracelet, and I learned that Amanda writes each message by hand at home after a full day’s work.

As I reflected on Jadan’s message, the video Armed by Devon Gundry came to mind. Armed was inspired by a prayer from the Bahá’í Writings, where a soul is protected by the power of God’s Name. Rather than focusing on fear, one focuses on the power of Divine Beauty and Knowledge through the world’s spiritual educators.

This theme seemed to resonate throughout the day. Jadan had another wonderful visit from the pharmacist, who reminded him to pray for healing. He also brought Jadan a thoughtful gift: an 11-page section of The New York Times from 1996, “Themes of the Times…Physics,” covering an assortment of topics, such as the mass of the universe, neutrinos, ice shelves melting, and lightning above storm clouds.

Jadan had already been studying the Law of Transformation of Velocities before his gift; what perfect timing!

One of the challenging side effects of treatment has been smell. He gets frequent whiffs of chemo meds. His nurse suggested essential oils and patches to help fill his sense of smell with frankincense, lavender, and peppermint. One thing that helped this afternoon was green chili from lunch. Each time he smelled chemo meds, he took a sniff and a sip of his green chili. It was a total success!

Chemo Day 4 art was created in gratitude for green chilies and a caring, kind, and skilled health care team that provided a ‘blessed spot’ for Jadan and patients to heal.

“Blessed is the spot, and the house, and the place, and the city, and the heart, and the mountain, and the refuge, and the cave, and the valley, and the land, and the sea, and the island, and the meadow where mention of God hath been made, and His praise glorified.”

Baháʼu’lláh, Baháʼí Prayers

Chem Day 3: “Now, might be the time to pray”

31 Jul 2025 Leave a comment

by lanikamal in Jadan's Cancer Journey Tags: , , ,

“Now, might be the time to pray,” according to our pharmacist. We had a lively and insightful visit from our pharmacist this morning. We understand from his advice that it’s time to pray for healing. Day 3-4 is when symptoms may become more severe. Fortunately, since Jadan’s steroid dosage was lowered, he has been doing very well. No shakiness or chills. And he has been doing very well with meals. Today, the doctor added a new anti-nausea medication to help offset the lowering of the steroid. Jadan has responded very well to that also.

One surprising bit of information we learned this week was related to Jadan’s cancer stage level. Jadan was asked to sign a paper acknowledging the medications they were administering – that is where he saw he was at stage 3b, with the highest stage set at 3c. I am grateful for the life-saving science and attentive care Jadan is receiving.

At home, the Subi and Po have been paying closer attention to Jadan than normal. We think they know something is going on. Subi couldn’t understand why she didn’t get out of the car with us this morning. And then this afternoon, Po gave him a funny look. Perhaps he was wondering where Jadan was all day. Now that Jadan is home, everyone seems to be happier.

One thing I appreciated during today’s treatment was how hard each nurse works to care for their patients. It is obvious that they care deeply for each person they serve. One of the pros of chemo treatment is making new friendships with those serving in the healthcare field. The nature of chemo calls for many visits, which provide endless opportunities to get to know the staff. It feels like we are in a different world where the societal ills that typically take precedence in everyday life may become a point of conflict and anxiety, and are not the center of the universe. Rather, what is truly important is the sincere care, attention, support, and encouragement given to each person as they strive with heart and soul to live a life full of health and wellbeing.

During today’s treatment, Jadan decided that tonight would be the night for a dynamic change. One of the side effects of chemotherapy is hair loss within the first week of treatment. It was inspiring to see Jadan embrace the beauty in being bald. And WOW, he rocked the “Bald is Beautiful!” Didn’t he?

Ta-Dah!!! Game on Cancer! He is already looking forward to a scalp massage.

Chemo Day 3 Art:

Today’s art is about gratitude for being present in the moment and being the change by imbuing thoughts and actions with love. Tangles, such as Bales, Flux, Fescu, and Orbs, embellished the word ‘BE’. You are invited to create your “BE” art inspired by gratitude.

Thy name is my healing, O my God, and remembrance of Thee is my remedy. Nearness to Thee is my hope, and love for Thee is my companion. Thy mercy to me is my healing and my succor in both this world and the world to come. Thou, verily, art the All-Bountiful, the All-Knowing, the All-Wise.

Prayers and Meditations by Bahá’u’lláh     

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