Day 1 of last week: Monday, September 29, 2025: Reflections from the Pale Blue Dot

30 Sep 2025 Leave a comment

by lanikamal in Jadan's Cancer Journey Tags: , , ,

We have been preparing ourselves for this week for days. Going into Jadan’s last week of chemo is filled with many emotions. Gratitude for all the love and support that has been a constant reminder of not being alone, and grieving the loss of life as it was before. Also, feelings of excitement, hope, optimism, and curiosity as to what the future will hold. We have talked about future plans all through chemotherapy, and are finally getting close to making those plans a reality. We have three exciting events happening in May: Anya graduates from 5th grade, Kyler graduates from high school, and Bella graduates from Lewis & Clark.

One undeniable truth connecting every human being is that we will all face death in our own time. Over the last year, experiencing time has been redefined. It used to be that time revolved around a clock—time to wake up, eat, work, etc., and it often felt like time wasn’t enough, as if it was a commodity or resource. Now, during chemotherapy, our time is filled with taking actions that will cure Jadan’s cancer. We are surrounded by precious souls who may or may not have the favorable prognosis we gratefully have. Some are given notice that their time is approaching, yet continue to live with grace, purpose, and peace. But the truth is, we all exist in time outside the clock, whether we realize it or not. It is what we do with the little time we have in this moment that matters. Reflecting on the human life span reminds me of Carl Sagan’s Pale Blue Dot cosmic perspective.

Jadan received his words of encouragement upon checking in. This small token of love and support is one of the first things we look forward to, along with being greeted with warm welcomes by Jadan’s care staff. Everyone was very excited to see Jadan, especially since this was his last week of treatment. So many have taken a liking to Jadan. They see their kids in him and have a special investment and interest in his healing.

Once treatment began, the nausea kicked in. Afterward, he could enjoy a little bit of a second breakfast. Good old McDonald’s breakfast burritos with hot picante did the trick. From that point, Jadan managed to rest through the rest of his treatment. Hearing the bell ring was one of the highlights of our first day back. One of the patients completed their treatment and marked the occasion by ringing the bell. Everyone clapped with excitement. Knowing that Jadan will be ringing the bell on Friday inspires anticipation and renewed commitment to finish this week strong.


Jadan had a warm welcome from Po and Subi. They surrounded Jadan and were happy to see him. It was nice to see a smile on his face after today’s rough first day. The rest of the afternoon was dedicated to rest and food.

Only 4 more days!!!

Today’s Art is inspired by gratitude for science:

O God, O Thou Who hast cast Thy splendor over the luminous realities of men, shedding upon them the resplendent lights of knowledge and guidance, and hast chosen them out of all created things for this supernal grace, and hast caused them to encompass all things, to understand their inmost essence, and to disclose their mysteries, bringing them forth out of darkness into the visible world!  “He verily showeth His special mercy to whomsoever He will.”¹

O Lord, help Thou Thy loved ones to acquire knowledge and the sciences and arts, and to unravel the secrets that are treasured up in the inmost reality of all created beings.  Make them to hear the hidden truths that are written and embedded in the heart of all that is.  Make them to be ensigns of guidance amongst all creatures, and piercing rays of the mind shedding forth their light in this, the “first life.”²  Make them to be leaders unto Thee, guides unto Thy path, runners urging men on to Thy Kingdom.

Thou verily art the Powerful, the Protector, the Potent, the Defender, the Mighty, the Most Generous.

‘Abdu’l-Bahá

Round 3: Day #5: Friday, September 12, 2025 – “Don’t let go of the burritos!”

21 Sep 2025 Leave a comment

by lanikamal in Jadan's Cancer Journey Tags: , , , , ,

The last day of chemotherapy for the third session went okay. Jadan still felt nauseous but managed to eat a couple of breakfast burritos from McDonald’s. And what would life be like without hot picante sauce?

When it comes to food, if he wants it, we get it. We are never sure if something will work, especially since feeling sick has been so difficult this week.

It was exciting to reach the last day of treatment for round three. Knowing that he has two weeks off to recover and only one more week left – 5 DAYS! – is a relief. He’s got this!!!

From the start of coming to treatment, we noticed the office decor. There are flying pigs everywhere. We finally asked Amanda at the front desk about the meaning behind “when pigs fly!” She said all the pig art has been there for years—it was there when she started working. She also said that the patients absolutely love it. When patients come in, they laugh and remind her never to change it. I guess the pig art will change “when pigs fly!”.

Prayer for the last day of chemo:

O God, my God!  Fill up for me the cup of detachment from all things, and in the assembly of Thy splendors and bestowals, rejoice me with the wine of loving Thee.  Free me from the assaults of passion and desire, break off from me the shackles of this nether world, draw me with rapture unto Thy supernal realm, and refresh me amongst the handmaids with the breathing of Thy holiness.

O Lord, brighten Thou my face with the lights of Thy bestowals, light Thou mine eyes with beholding the signs of Thine all-subduing might; delight my heart with the glory of Thy knowledge that encompasseth all things, gladden Thou my soul with Thy soul-reviving tidings of great joy, O Thou King of this world and the Kingdom above, O Thou Lord of dominion and might, that I may spread abroad Thy signs and tokens, and proclaim Thy Cause, and promote Thy teachings, and serve Thy Law and exalt Thy Word.

Thou art, verily, the Powerful, the Ever-Giving, the Able, the Omnipotent.

‘Abdu’l-Bahá

Chemo Round #3: Day 2 : “Happy B-DAY Vanny!”

11 Sep 2025 Leave a comment

by lanikamal in Jadan's Cancer Journey Tags: , , ,

How can it be???? Vanny is 19 years old!

Last Sunday, we celebrated early with a family dinner before the start of chemo week. On Tuesday, September 9th, Vanny opened a few gifts before school. She got a cute little Grub squishy, a character from the Holo Knight game. Also, Jadan got the knight from the game—together, they make delicious eye candy for Subi, who thinks anything stuffed is for her. We also plan to do a little birthday outing after chemo week. Between school and treatment, our schedule is not only back-to-back but exhausting.

Amanda warmly welcomed Jadan during check-in. Once again, he received an inspiring handwritten message: “When you have exhausted all possibilities…Remember this: YOU HAVEN’T!” These words couldn’t have been more appropriate. Feeling powerless to help has been the theme for this week. From Monday to Tuesday, Jadan lost two pounds as a result of being sick. He typically gains weight from fluids, and the steroid increases his appetite, but not this week. After speaking with Jadan’s nurse and in agreement with Jadan, we decided to try a CBD tincture to help with nausea. We’ve had a crash course in Cannabis education from a local business recommended by Jadan’s doctor. The CBD tincture does not include THC, the psychoactive chemical in marijuana that produces a high or addictive properties. Overall, with the increase in treatment side effects, we are hopeful and grateful that there is another option to help alleviate Jadan’s suffering.

Jadan is sporting his ABQ-inspired socks!

Additional ways in which Jadan is helped through pain through foot massages and healing touch holistic healing modalities offered by Jadan’s nurse. Another nurse suggested he try acupuncture as a way to help with the nausea. Implementing healing art modalities contributes to the mind-body-spirit integrative approach to managing the stress caused by cancer and the treatment. According to the care team, the treatment for Jadan’s cancer is effective, with a full recovery expected. Ensuring Jadan’s mental well-being and emotional well-being will allow for sound decision-making and empower him to fill his thoughts with positivity. As we strive to strengthen his spiritual well-being, “Supplication to God at morn and eve,” which Abdu’l-Bahá states, “is conducive to the joy of hearts, and prayer causes spirituality and fragrance” (Baha’iquotes.com).

Day 2 Art inspired by Beauty

The New Mexico sunset captivates and inspires beauty and awe.

“I beseech Thee, O my God, by Thy Beauty that shineth forth above the horizon of eternity, a Beauty before which, as soon as it revealeth itself, the kingdom of beauty boweth down in worship, magnifying it in ringing tones, to grant that I may die to all that I possess and live to whatsoever belongeth unto Thee. Thou seest me, O my God, holding to Thy Name, the Most Holy, the Most Luminous, the Most Mighty, the Most Great, the Most Exalted, the Most Glorious, and clinging to the hem of the robe to which have clung all in this world and in the world to come.” Prayers and Meditations by Bahá’u’lláh

Monday, September 8, 2025: Round 3: Day 1 -“Patience is a virtue”

10 Sep 2025 Leave a comment

by lanikamal in Jadan's Cancer Journey Tags: , , ,

Monday’s treatment began as usual. However, smells continue to negatively affect Jadan…more so during the beginning of treatment. His solution is to hold his breath as the nurse cleans, flushes, and accesses his port. The good news is…he is over halfway through his chemotherapy treatment. Also, Jadan’s doctor stopped by to share how pleased he was with Jadan’s progress and his recent lab results. Overall, he is doing very well.

I felt anxious over the weekend, as did Jadan. We know that from this point on, there is more nausea, fatigue, and overall challenge of feeling horrible. Words cannot fully express how difficult it is to watch a loved one suffer. I am deeply grateful to all who continue to share prayers and support Jadan. Knowing he is loved by so many helps manage feelings of being powerless to make him better.

Earlier this week, I learned that Eileen (Nana), Jadan’s Grandmother, was beginning her pilgrimage to Medjugorje, a sacred and blessed spot in Bosnia Herzegovina. Her first day was a big feast day in celebrating the Birthday of the Blessed Mohter. It was lovely to see photos and know that she is asking Our Lady to intercede with her Son for successful treatment and Jadan’s full recovery. Thank you, Nana! We are grateful for your prayers and love!

In 2023, our family went on Catholic Pilgrimage in Israel together. Father Leon took wonderful care of our group. One of the many highlights was visiting a Franscisan monastery build by Crusaders. It was there we found the most delicious honey collected and crafted by the monks themselves.

I was curious if our little soul gardener was still keeping watch – and happily, it was still there! Reflecting back on our first week of treatment feels like a very long time ago. It’s amazing how much change we’ve experienced in such short time. Again, another opportunity to be grateful for the support from family and friends. One of the postivites of returning to treatment was seeing the nursing staff. They continue to provide excellent care for Jadan. Another reason to be grateful.

Chemo ART DAY 1: Today’s art is dedicated to appreciation and gratitude for patience during times of tests and difficulty.

The sign of love is fortitude under My decree and patience under My trials.

Bahá’u’lláh

Chemo Day 1: You are stronger than you realize!

29 Jul 2025 Leave a comment

by lanikamal in Jadan's Cancer Journey Tags: ,

The first day of chemo was a success! Besides having a contagiously positive attitude, Jadan was an inspiring example of courage and humor. He was welcomed by the front desk receptionist with an empowering message:

Difficult times in life allow us to exercise our strength. They are also an opportunity to further strengthen capabilities that enhance our commitment to personal growth and, at the same time, help us connect to others with love and kindness. Sharing words that empower others, especially in times of difficulty, not only gives encouragement and support but also acknowledges the person’s unique experience and great capacity to overcome the hardship. Halfway through treatment, Jadan acknowledged his strength and made a fond reference to his personalized wristband.

The first day of chemo began with cleaning the port area, giving saline for hydration, a steroid, and two anti-nausea medications. Then, an hour of etoposide was followed by an hour and a half of cisplatin. Overall, we were in therapy from 8 am until 1:15 pm.

Jadan’s nurse, Danuta, was exceptionally kind and attentive. She brought snacks and a drink to help with light dizziness and often checked in on Jadan during his infusion.

Art was created, inspired by deep gratitude and appreciation for science and the arts, which is expressed through the following Baháʼí prayer:

O God, O Thou Who hast cast Thy splendor over the luminous realities of men, shedding upon them the resplendent lights of knowledge and guidance, and hast chosen them out of all created things for this supernal grace, and hast caused them to encompass all things, to understand their inmost essence, and to disclose their mysteries, bringing them forth out of darkness into the visible world!  “He verily showeth His special mercy to whomsoever He will.”¹

O Lord, help Thou Thy loved ones to acquire knowledge and the sciences and arts, and to unravel the secrets that are treasured up in the inmost reality of all created beings.  Make them to hear the hidden truths that are written and embedded in the heart of all that is.  Make them to be ensigns of guidance amongst all creatures, and piercing rays of the mind shedding forth their light in this, the “first life.”²  Make them to be leaders unto Thee, guides unto Thy path, runners urging men on to Thy Kingdom.

Thou verily art the Powerful, the Protector, the Potent, the Defender, the Mighty, the Most Generous.

‘Abdu’l-Bahá 

The Zentangle Method of mindful art making is founded in gratitude and appreciation. It is easy to learn, relaxing, and fun way to create beautiful images by drawing structured patterns. It provides artistic satisfaction along with an increased sense of personal well-being.

During chemotherapy days, I will create art through the Zentangle Method. I will also share an introduction to this mindful art form and invite all to create their own art founded in gratitude and appreciation.

For those wanting to learn the mindful Zentangle Method, you will need: one pencil, paper of your choice, and a black Micron pen 01 or 05. If you do not have a Micron pen, any kind of pen you have will suffice. On chemo day 2, we will learn the 8 steps of the Zentangle Method and one or two of the fundamental tangles: crescent moon and printemps.

Until tomorrow…may you immerse yourselves in the beauty that surrounds you.